Watashi... felt uneasy during review sessions. Its as if every slide of my tissue is being examined for rotting. I go back home, scan my notes, but before I must complete what I ought to do, my mind wanders off to self-gratification. The price of this deliberate association must be paid by means of diligent reciprocation. The only problem lies in the host. Everything reminds me of school, of how difficult it was for me to tie the ends just so I could float, and I felt like I am not yet ready to be bashed by what is real. I bargained for time. Fate shall give me until April to decide where have maturity placed me. I may sulk, regress to scholarly what-nots, demo, I shall not and never shall I endeavor to waste the belief of people in me. Speaking of sloth, it pains me to see myself low-esteemed by my performance during my own reviews. 10 mistakes especially in succession made me think I do not deserve any great expectations. I kept telling myself, Ganbatte ne!, demo, to see yourself flunking and to know the reason behind is just frustrating. Even though I have not even made it to the top 5 during review classes, I shall not give up! Its the one thing I treasured knowing and believing from my affinity to anime! Zettai-no!
I must beat myself with the yardstick if I will not finish this business by the end of April. I badly need a retreat! I have watched the following anime immediately after graduation and I shall be making my reviews after I scramble to make room for inclusions: Naruto Shippuden (yes, Im a loser, but I only stopped during 2006 because I had enough with fillers, I only get to see Kisame and Itachi, I want more of Akatsuki! Demo, my course has not been very generous with ample time, and I just grew tired over things that do not contribute. Fast forward: I miss it), Detective School Q (i think this was what carl suggested when I was cruelly misplaced in our first pinning practice and I brushed him saying, nothing beats Detective Conan. But boy was I wrong. If detective conan, was unfair in that some cases were NANI?!!!-my logic don't fit in, this time, its more of Sugoi Sugoi tante-san!), a very little bit of Bleach (because my sister kept saying that its one of the best and the only reason why I said little is that I might have to extend April to a few more days to accomodate 200++ episodes), and Bokura Ga Ita (sigh! the best romantic ecchi ever, but please underline romantic!).
For the past few days, I felt like I need to loosen a bit, free myself momentarily from what must be ideal, cause I still can't seem to connect the puzzle pieces together. What do I want to become? I figured I answered this 4 years ago, demo, circumstances have not been simplistic. It is dermal to be swayed by what your peers or the world show you to be exciting, demo, have you listened closely to your heart?
